So this morning, it was a whopping 18 degrees out when I went to warm up my car. In my opinion, there is no reason Missouri needs to be this cold. We don't have snow ergo there is no need for the ridiculously cold weather. This put me in a grouchy mood the entire 30 minute drive to work and once I parked in my parking spot, I realized that the ice guy hadn't gotten to my area of the parking lot yet, so I had to be super careful not to slip and crack my head on the ice, which surely would have resulted in death with how my luck was going that morning.
Once I got inside I realized I had failed to bring any oatmeal or fruit for breakfast, so I made an emergency breakfast run to good ol Mickey D's, thus resulting in another trip out of doors into the freezing wasteland that Missouri has become recently. This spurned my idea of gaining enough political power to enact a law in which you are not required to leave your house if it is below 30 degrees outside unless you absolutely have to or if you're the snow and ice guys. One of my coworkers pointed out that by being president (which was my first idea) that my "law" would mostly likely be vetoed. This brought me great despair until I remembered that hey! We used to have all powerful monarchies before, why not again? Thus the idea of Queen Angie of the United States of America came about.
Some of my better ideas:
*Siesta from noon to four. That way you don't miss the best parts of the afternoon.
*No requirement to leave your house for work when it is under 30 degrees outside.
*Taco Tuesday! (That one speaks for itself, don't you think?)
*Pet a baby animal Thursday. I hate Thursdays and the only thing that seems to make it better is snuggling with my kittens, and I am sure I am not the only one who thinks this way.
*Automatic four weeks paid vacation with every job, as long as you have worked there for one year or longer. Anything less than a year, no vacation. Maybe (but maybe not) that will help the high turnover of a lot of jobs.
* Birthday weeks for all! If it's the week of your birthday, you get honored with balloons and singing and the dessert of your choice. Also, costume parties.
*Drama queen island. We send all the drama queens and self absorbed no good rotten people to an island to bicker amongst themselves and fight to the death. Last one standing can have the island to herself/himself until the next round of Drama queen island. I can think of a certain "i'm so crafty my life is so perfect oh em gee!" queen that would be on my short list for that island.
*Intelligence test for baby making. You have to be of a certain intelligence level and succefulness to procreate. If you don't meet these standards, you're not allowed to procreate and are forced to be chemically "barren" for lack of a better word.
*Funding for personal libraries. You want a personal library but don't have the means to build one? No problem! We will get someone to do it for you. Of course, you would have to fill it yourself though...
Those are just a few. I know that some of you won't agree with a couple of them, but that's why this is a monarchy and not a democracy. Also, this is my fake queendom. Get your own.
It should be noted that when I ran this idea by my coworkers they were vehemently against the idea of me (or anyone) being Queen or King. So no worries of me taking over, guys....
...this time. Muhahahahahahahaa!
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